He's asking for an explanation. The problem is that I don't know what to tell him. "I wasn't thinking -" my original thought had included more words, but it's only now that I realize that this is enough. Because I hadn't been thinking. It wasn't rational. It could have been the effects of morphling leaving my body, paving ways to madness and a pain I wasn't used to. But that doesn't absolve me either.

"It was wrong."